yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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