woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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