hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
