In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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