Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Randomize
