every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
