So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
