Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
