I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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