I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
