But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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