btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
