I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i just google imaged poop.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
