1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
