You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
