One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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