Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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