Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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