Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My vagina just clenched in fear
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
