fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
