So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
