So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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