I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
