And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
