Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You can't just leave with hair like that
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
