I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize