Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
