I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
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