Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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