No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
