So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
