Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
