Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Randomize