This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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