We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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