grandma shit on top of the toilet
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
