Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize