well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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