So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
