Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
