nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
i believe in u and ur pee
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
