Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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