____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
this boner is exhausting
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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