Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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