is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Buhtt sex?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Randomize