(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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