The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My ass is underappreciated
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
