so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
