Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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