I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
