the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
