I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
