I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize