So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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