whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
