Soap is not a condiment
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
my liver is dry heaving
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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