is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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