Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
