He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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