You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
You left your phone here
Wait...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
