The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
