hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
